A good reputation is the product of consistent and positive interactions built up over time. Establishing a good reputation is straightforward: make and keep commitments and attract the positive perceptions of the people who know you. Specific ways of making and keeping commitments, and gathering positive perceptions.

While the concepts of commitment and perception are easily grasped, the key to establishing a good reputation is to apply them as effectively as possible. Commitment and perception are two types of interactions that generate relationship capital. Relationship Capital generates reputation.

Building a good reputation is the product of consistent and positive interactions built up over time. A  good reputation is forged by productive conversations and following through with commitments.

So what kind of actions will help you building a strong reputation?

Character and attitude is the ultimate reputation builders, doing what you committed to. An easy motto is to practice is to underpromise and overdeliver.  Also, be willing to admit when you are wrong and to rectify a problem will win you the loyalty of friends and colleagues alike.

When you present yourself in the best light, whether virtually or physically, people get a sense of your own self respect. A groomed appearance, genuine interest in the people you come into contact with, clear communication style and a positive attitude will do much to foster your reputation in anothers mind.

The thing to understand about your reputation is that it precedes and follows you everywhere. As you start out in life and begin building your reputation, people tend remember you with every exchange they have and you want that to be as positive as possible.   If you acquire a bad reputation, it can seriously impact your professional prospects.  People need to know you are trustworthy. If you establish  reputation as an ethical and responsive person, the likelihood that people will put opportunities in your path are greatly increased.

How frequently do we read about a respected businessman, religious leader or politician ruin a life long reputation in one moment through a lapse of judgement?  Make no mistake, while takes a lifetime to build a good reputation but it takes one careless action to destroy it.  Who would trust any Enron executive again? Rebuilding a damaged reputation is much harder than building a good one from scratch as customers have long memories.

Dealing with the consequences of careless management of your reputation building are difficult and to be avoided at all costs as once a reputation is spoilt it is almost irretrievable. If you have made a mistake, admit it and let everyone know what you’ve done to stop it happening again.If it happens to you in business, go one step further than your competitors to rectify a complaint and your reputation will improve by sheer word of mouth recommendation. There is nothing more cost effective or valuable than word of mouth referral.

Make a commitment to yourself to building a strong reputation and guard it with care, because you are going to have it represent you in absentia (as in, what people say about you when you aren’t there). If you should trip up, and we all do at some point, take a leaf from Donald Trump, learn to accentuate your positive traits or those of your company. Donald has come unstuck in his time but every opportunity he gets (sometimes ad nauseum) he puts the soundbite to good effect and all you remember is what he has accomplished not where he fell down. Whilst Donald has a robust ego, he is also demonstrating self confidence and high self esteem for what he believes he has accomplished.

Another powerful attribute to building a positive reputation is to speak well of others, give honest testimonials to people who provide good service, reflect on people who deserve accolades for their stand up character.When people hear you do this on behalf of someone else, they can imagine you doing the same for them. This enfranchises them to you and leaves them with a positive feeling about who you are.

In cyberspace, reputations can be relatively quick to accrue due to the high transfer of information. But they can also be easily impugned, due to the lingering, permanent nature of the world wide web, such as unfortunate pictures on social media sites that seemed hilarious at the time but not when a future employee comes across it.  A digital reputation is useful in situations where credibility is being established. If you are given to voicing outlandish opinion or outre behaviour, best you do this under a ’sockpuppet’ (disguised identity) creation. This is common in online forums. Online profiles are becoming more critical to recruiters and companies in their bid to discover more about a new hire,  a person’s online reputation can migrate to their real life extremely quickly.

The acid test for measuring your reputation is to see who will happily refer you to a third party. What words do they use to describe you, your service, your company? If you had to vouch for someone, could you and would you do so without reservation?  If you wouldn’t vouch for someone, it means you don’t trust them and to do so would call into question your own creditability if you recommend someone who poorly delivers.

Creditable professionals understand the effort of investing in reputation building and growing relationship capital. When in business, it is folly to ignore the necessity to manage your business reputation, particularly in todays digital world. Rather than wait until you have to manage a damage limitation exercise when someone has complained about your services or product, have a policy to consistantly improve your brand in the eyes of the consumer with ‘positive’ relationship capital investment. This means that leverage the comments of happy and satisfied customer in a visible manner because positive reflection of a trusted source (other consumers) warrants greater trust than hype and marketing spin.

Make no mistake, the Relationship Capital Economy is here to stay and will increase in influence the more we marshall the forces of social media. Everyone has a vested interest in managing and growing their reputation within communities of trust.

Those with self-respect are less prone to regret, blame, guilt, shame, and secretive behaviour. Self-respecting people understand the value of active listening. They know that if people feel understood, then they are more likely to be willing to listen to another person’s point of view. Self-respecting people are willing to work to earn the other person’s respect and trust.

How do you learn to respect yourself? One who has developed self-respect has confidence in themselves and a realistic appreciation of what their skillset are, the challenges they have surmounted and an acceptance of shortcomings. Real self-respect strengthens a persons self worth and reduces reactive behaviour.A sign of self worth is demonstrated in taking care of oneself, others or the environment. It adds general reliability to social interactions. It enables people to work collaboratively, mutually valueing their different contributions and extending dignity and worth with a courteous regard for people’s feelings.

Signs that we have acquired respectful attitudes are:

listening with out interrupting
taking anothers feelings into consideration
keeping an open mind
agreeing to disagree
understand another persons viewpoint
direct communication
acknowledging a persons contribution
not pressuring another person to see things your way

Understanding and practising the Golden Rule of ‘Do unto others as you would have them do unto you’ essentially tells more about your own character. It shows you recognize that others have feelings, skills, and thoughts that are as valid as yours. Appreciation of the differences between us in views, lifestyles and experiences whilst practising common courtesies creates a level of mutual acceptance. Honoring others for who they are and being inclusive.

Organizations must be clear about the value of respect and not expect values such as respect to evolve or to spring fully formed from the corporate cultureShowing respect to people not only helps them to feel accepted, they are more likely to demonstrate the same behaviour with peers and colleagues. Showing respect, is more about self. How you were raised, having good manners, and knowing how to treat people. It is not necessarily based upon anything the other person has done to earn it or merit it. It just is based on how you carry out your own life. Your own character and the effort invested in learning how to be respectful is soundly rewarded in people respecting you socially and professionally,enabling you to grow a highly regarded reputation.

As social beings, our modern lives are a constant stream of connections to others by ties of social and professional alliances. The ability to forge trusting relationships form the foundation for many of our more positive and rewarding experiences. When individuals are betrayed, they immediately lose their capacity to trust others and their ability to function productively or satisfyingly in an increasingly social world is limited. When we trust other people, we are not just extending our belief in them, we may also be allowing them to see our vulnerabilities.

David Straker suggests there are four key features that exemplify trust:

Definition 1: Trust means being able to predict what other people will do and what situations will occur. If we can surround ourselves with people we trust, then we can create a safe present and an even better future.

Definition 2: Trust means making an exchange with someone when you do not have full knowledge about them, their intent and the things they are offering to you

Definition 3: Trust means giving something now with an expectation that it will be repaid, possibly in some unspecified way at some unspecified time in the future.

Definition 4: Trust means enabling other people to take advantage of your vulnerabilities—but expecting that they will not do this.

A trustworthy person is someone in whom we can place our trust and can prove their trustworthiness by fulfilling an assigned responsibility and to not let down our expectations. The responsibility can be an intangible, such as delivering on a commitment, or as tangible as such delivering a product in good order. A trustworthy person is someone that we can put our concerns and secrets. In order for one to trust another, their worth and integrity must be consistently demonstrated over time.

The greatest show of trust is letting others know your feelings, emotions and reactions and having the confidence in them to respect you and to not take advantage of you. By placing confidence in others in the hope they will be supportive and reinforcing of you, even if show your weaknesses means they have earned your unequivocal trust.The ability to let others into your life so that you and they can create a relationship built on an understanding of mutual respect, caring, and concern to assist one another in growing and maturing independently is a sign of trust.Trust is the glue or cement of relationships that allows you to need others to fully express yourself.

According to Stephen M Covey Trust is expressed by a paradigm that includes five waves of trust. Self trust based on the principle of credibility, relationship trust based on the principle of proper behavior, organizational trust based on the principle of alignment, market trust based on the principle of reputation, and societal trust based on the principle of contribution).

Accepting who you are and what your potential is an important step in letting down your guard enough to develop a trusting relationship with others. If you are so insecure in your identity that you are unable to accept yourself first, how can you achieve the self-revelation necessary to develop trust? Self-acceptance through an active program of self-affirmation and self-love is a key to the development of trust.

The act of placing yourself in the vulnerable position of relying on others to treat you in a fair, open, and honest way.

The foundational CBOK Values help foster the trust frequently missing on the public networking sites, where participants frequently accumulate large lists of ‘friends’ who they hardly know. Online relationships usually begin with access to minimal information about a person. This equates with risk, uncertainty and lack of trust until the relationship finds sufficient “’common ground” on which to build.

The adoption of CBOK’s ‘rules of engagement’ provides a mutual meeting ground. Having an agreement about the CBOK Value of Accountability, for instance, can help build closer, stronger relationships. CBOK also has established ground rules for making and keeping commitments, forming the foundation for building RC (Relationship Capital).

CBOK’s principles and practices are more than just enablers–they are critical in forging healthy relationships. The benchmark standards included in CBOK also serve as great discussion topics, serving as the basis for continuous learning. Put it all together and It adds up to a dynamic RC community of trust that transcends any particular site, a community in which trust is instilled one relationship at a time.

In the online world, a good reputation is much harder to earn. That is because it takes trust, and trust can be both won and lost in a second. The formula for both personal and corporate success relies on what you know, who you know and who trusts you. That is why trust matters and forges reputations.

RNIA’s CBOK (Common Body of Knowledge) aids you in establishing a good reputation by providing a common set of globally recognized values that make it easier for other people to form good opinions of you. When your contacts understand the CBOK Value of Honesty, for example, it is easier for them to recognize that you adhere to that value.

Adoption and practice of CBOK Values can help everyone create solid reputations. CBOK gives us a benchmark, or basis, for building good reputations that forge sustainable relationships and provide us with a reflection of our self worth or our professional standing.

RNIA’s CBOK (Common Body of Knowledge) defines boundaries as “the limitations a Relationship Capital Entity imposes to indicate what is permissible within its value system. The term is used to demonstrate what an Entity will accept and not accept when engaging in Relationship Capital Interactions.” Boundaries define a person’s sense of self. Setting them allows you to feel safe in your environment. They are a way to exhibit self-respect and increase the respect shown to you by others.

Boundaries define your sense of self and guide other people to know how to treat you. A well articulated boundary is the dividing line between you and everyone else that represents both physical and emotional limits others may not cross. Clear boundaries signal to others what you personally find acceptable or unacceptable. When you evaluate and assess the words and actions of other people in your life through your boundaries, you determine which words and actions you will accept and which you will block when they are unacceptable.

We establish boundaries to protect our physical and social space, feelings and behavior. Setting and maintaining them is a skill that you can learn at RNIA. CBOK shows you how you can set and maintain your own boundaries and honor the boundaries of others.

Delivering what you promised to deliver and accepting good and bad outcomes as well as owning up to shortcomings/mistakes are the consequences of being able to practice Accountability. It is about taking responsibility for one’s actions and honoring obligations, expectations and requirements relevant to a commitment or an undertaking. It builds a value chain that creates trust.

Some people think Accountability means accepting responsibility. The two are often confused for one another. But responsibility is a far different animal that accountability. You can be held responsible, for example, for carrying out a task. Accountability, on the other hand, means accepting liability for the consequences of carrying out the task. They are two very different ideas indeed.

The CBOK Value of Accountability is a very effective motivator. It encourages you to think ahead and go all the way in fulfilling your commitments. CBOK helps you develop and improve your sense of Accountability, and assists you to recognize its existence (or absence) in all your relationships. The bottom line: Accountability is a core Value that helps draw people to you.

Why should I grow my relationship network?

The objective of a relationship network is to get the precise help you need when you need it. The more capable the network, the better the results. By growing your network, you are maximizing the pool of networkers who can help you in a given circumstance.

Should I go for quality or quantity?

While some people think of these as separate concepts, experienced networkers tend to think of them together. They believe the best approach is to get the greatest quantity of quality contacts as possible. The more great relationships they have, the reasoning goes, the easier it is to get the help they need. Some networkers welcome everyone into their networks, which often allows strangers to become good friends. Other networkers restrict their networks to people they know personally. Your approach should be based on your comfort level, and on the number of relationships you can manage effectively.

What is the most effective way to add people to my network?

On good way to add people is to tell them your success stories and ask them to join you. You should also help others to build their own networks. Today’s networking culture makes it easy to add people to your network because the Internet provides many reasons for identifying people with common interests

How can I increase the quality of my network?

Have each person agree to adhere to the rules. Make it your goal to meet people who are centers of influence, typically other great networkers devoted to the art. The goal is to build a friction-free network composed of people who understand the rules and can cut to the chase. As many dedicated networkers as you can will grow your network rapidly. Every power network is a lever you can use to unlock more contacts to get the help you need

How can I educate a contact on the proper way to network?

Relationship networking, like computer networking. works best when standards are followed by all participants. By understanding the principles of networking, you can guide the people you know to an extent, but it helps when you and your contacts are on the same page networking-wise. Ask your contacts to join your network and direct them to these FAQs (Note: the N3P’s Relationship Networking Industry GIG plans to publish a complete set of standards and body of knowledge).

How is networking like multi-level marketing?

Relationship networking parallels multi-level marketing in some respects, but the underlying driver of networking is the growth of relationship rather than financial capital. The “product” is getting the help you need to achieve your goals. The comparison is apt because the multi-level marketer aggressively seek to expand his sphere of influence. This trait is also present in those who network for a living, especially top-producer sales people, high-level corporate executives and the growing ranks of “super-connectors” who use the Internet to grow their networks.

How do you ask contacts to introduce you to people they know?

Tell them why you want to meet the people. Remember, contacts are looking for Relationship Capital. Determine how your contacts earns Relationship Capital by introducing you. Making them look good, recommend them. There’s no need to mention that you intend to reciprocate. You’ll make it sound like you’re “buying” a favor. Reciprocation is natural anyway. Networkers know to get help from their networks taken from a whole, and not to expect it from you specifically. When introductions are make, keep in mind that a networking loop has been created.

How do you ask contacts to refer your products or services to people they know?

To be an effective messenger, a contact must hold your product or service in high regard. They must understand it well. While referral fees are sometimes involved, a good networker is watching out for the Relationship Capital that he or she can earn by recommending your services, rather than the monetary gain. And, remember, you’re creating a networking loop.

How do you ask contacts to help you find a better position?

Most people will say “if you hear of any jobs let me know”. That’s not the best way to use your networking resources. Contacts must understand your needs. Have your resume. Ask for suggestions of who they know who can help you. You’re creating a networking loop.

How do you ask to join a contact’s project or organization?

During the course of networking, it’s common to encounter contact’s projects or organizations? where you feel you’re a good fit. When the circumstance present itself, simply suggest yourself as an ideal candidate. Don’t submit a resume unless asked or you’ll run the risk of converting the relationship to an employer-applicant status. If your overture is not accepted, don’t let it affect the relationship. The contact may be looking at the Relationship Capital implications of your involvement. He or she may prefer to keep the relationship at arms length, so don’t take it as a rejection.

How do you ask contacts to offer you advice?

As a rule, people enjoy giving advice. Keep the request on a business level. Make it concise and to the point, but provide sufficient facts to help the advisor form an intelligent answer. Asking for advice can reveal information about you that an advisor might find beneficial in building his or her Relationship Capital.

What do you do when a contact doesn’t buy your product or service?

Accepted networking ethics prohibits members from soliciting business from one another, so any request to buy your products must come from contacts without benefit of a sales spiel. You can overcome this to an extent by networking with people who are willing to refer your products to others while also being in the position to buy it themselves.

On a different level, a contact may be affected by the Relationship Capital implications of buying your product. He or she may prefer to keep the relationship at arms length, so don’t take a failure to buy as a rejection of the relationship itself.

How do you introduce contacts to people you know?

A contact may ask you to introduce him to someone you know, or you may decide on your own that it’s a good idea for them to meet. Either way, before making the introduction, make sure you fully understand the needs of all concerned, and how your Relationship Capital balance can be enhanced. It’s seldom a good idea to let them contact each other directly. People who act like search engines (”tell me who you want to meet and I’ll give you their email address”) risk being left out of the loop and earn little or no Relationship Capital. Your best bet is to follow a standard networking rule: arrange the introduction yourself. Introducing contacts creates a networking loop.

How do you refer contacts’ products or services to people you know?

Whether you’ve used them firsthand or simply trust the suppliers, it’s a good feeling to spread the word about products or services to people you come into contact with. In relationship networking, the key is to only refer products that add to your Relationship Capital account. A buy-sell transaction creates a networking loop. The objective is for buyer and seller to appreciate the referral, meaning that the transaction must be satisfactory to both.

How do you help contacts find a better position?

While we all derive satisfaction from helping a friend find a great job, from a networking perspective, it’s very important to understand the resume of the applicant and the needs of the hiring party. While a networker doesn’t need a recruiter’s depth of understanding, referring a job candidate is similar to referring any other service. The objective is to build Relationship Capital and create networking loops.

How do you invite a contact to join your project or organization?

After getting to know someone, it’s quite common to invite him or her to join your project or be hired by your organization. Taking that step requires careful evaluation. A networker must evaluate a contact’s contribution to his network and weigh it against the risk of things not working out.

How do you offer advice to a contact?

Giving advice depends on how well you know the person. As a rule you’re better off withholding advice until you’re asked for it. Many relationships are spoiled by one party’s need to pontificate or demonstrate knowledge that the other doesn’t want to hear.

How do you buy a contact’s product or service?

It’s natural to want to buy a contact’s products, but a networker can lose Relationship Capital by buying products that could lead to resentment in a networking relationship. Each relationship must stand on its own, but the networker must evaluate a contact’s contribution to his network and weigh it against the risk of something going wrong.